July 30, 2006

i feel like the ER is the valley of the shadow of death.

one of our patients died my first day of work and i did CPR for the first time on my second day of work. i switched off doing chest compression with 2 other nurses. needless to say, it was no picnic. the patient didnt make it. i think ive kind of been in shock for the past few days. O Lord, that your rod and staff would comfort me!

what testing of my faith and growing me to maturiy these experiences will bring. this is only the start of what is to come. i pray he will grow me and make me strong for the day i leave my country, my people and my father's household and go to the land he will show me like he did Abraham. medical work can be very ugly and disheartning but he must make me strong for when i go and work in places that have far less the medical technology and hands like we do here in the states. i know nothing yet of the valley of the shadow of death. there are countries of which people live in death of soul and body, undernourished, suffering in illness of all sorts, not to mention the oppression of darkness that come with false religion. i must rejoice in my own discomfort that i may be made perfect in suffering as did my Savior. Make me strong, O God, that I may be content in every circumstance and not give way to fear.